Tips on Handling Sibling Rivalry

Sibling rivalry is as old as the world itself. We are all too familiar with the story of Cain and Abel in the Bible. How sibling rivalry led to Cain’s killing of his brother Abel. We also remember the case of Esau and Jacob. How Jacob manipulated his way and got their father Isaac to bless him. The cause of sibling rivalry could range from age difference, difference in sex and parents attitude. While sibling rivalry is normal, parents should do all in their power to discourage and end it so it does not fester. These are some tips to consider.

• Prepare the child for the arrival of the sibling; see our tips on getting your child ready for a new sibling
• Share your time equally amongst the siblings; let them feel equally loved
• Parents should avoid comparing their children. Realize that each child has his own unique personality and gifts. Comparison brings about rivalry
•  Encourage siblings to bond as siblings; they should rather look out for each other
• There are bound to be misunderstandings as they grow; encourage them to settle their differences between themselves; it is only when they have tried and it didn’t work that they should bring it to the parent’s notice
• Discourage snitching against each other; this is delicate though as you would want all wrongs reported to you. However, informing against a sibling is a real cause of rivalry especially where the sibling snitched against is punished as a result
• Team spirit is very important; encourage the whole family to work as a team
•  Encourage gender sensitivity; let the male kids understand the difference in gender and roles
• Above all, live by example; don’t quarrel in front of your kids as they would easily pickup the tell tales and think it is normal to quarrel